RELATIONSHIPS BETWEEN YOUR SUN SIGN
AND ANY OTHER SUN SIGN
(PLUS A SMALL FIRST-NAME HARMONY
By Tim Stephens
Readers often email or telephone me to ask about various
sun-sign combinations. "I'm a Virgo and my boyfriend is a Gemini. What would our
relationship be like if we married?" A general answer to this - and any
sign-to-sign relationship question - can be found in the article below.
To use this relationship guide, take any newspaper
horoscope column, such as Astral Reflections. Using a pen, label your own Sun
sign # 1. Then label the sign below it # 2, the next # 3, and so on, until you
reach the sign immediately before/behind yours - sign # 12. E.g., if you're a
Taurus, Taurus is your # 1 sign, Gemini is your # 2 sign, Cancer is your # 3,
and Aries is your # 12.
Please note that in this entire article, YOUR SUN SIGN,
WHATEVER IT MIGHT BE, IS THE # 1 SIGN. But if you want to see how any other sign
sees you, or "experiences" you, then count his or her sun sign as # 1, and
follow the same procedure of numbering the signs in order, until you reach your
own sign. For example, if you're a Gemini, and you want to find out what love
with a Virgo would be like, number your sign # 1, and count until you hit Virgo
- you'll see that it's your (not everybody's, just your) # 4 sign. So you would
read "YOUR # 4 SIGN" below. But the Virgo would perform the same count, starting
with his or her own sign, Virgo, as # 1 - and he/she would find that Gemini is
his/her # 10 sign. So he/she'd read "YOUR # 10 SIGN" below.
Each sign means something different in two senses: in
general, to everyone, and specifically, to you. For everyone, Gemini means
communications, reports, anecdotes, short trips, the color gray, paperwork,
siblings, etc. But for Taurus Gemini means money, spending and earning. For
Aquarius, Gemini means romance; for Cancer, Gemini represents support, hidden
fears and secrets. But in this compatibility guide, we're not addressing the
particulars qualities of any sign, but just the "pattern interface" between
signs a certain distance apart from each other. So you won't find anything
describing Virgos in general , or Taureans, etc. But, by using the simple
newspaper horoscope column numbering system described above, you can tell what
your relationship will be like with a Virgo or a Taurus, or any sign, no matter
what your own sign is.
Please remember that this is just a general
compatibility guide. In many cases below, certain combinations will be called
unfavorable for marriage, love, or whatever. But in these "bad" combinations,
two people could have an interplay of Moon, Venus, Mars and other planets that
lead to a huge and lasting tenderness and successful love. Similarly, you will
not have a successful love affair with everybody who shares, for example, a # 5
relationship with you, because many other factors, Moon signs, rising signs, the
placement of Venus and Mars, etc., will make some of these # 5 links exciting,
some frustrating, and some will even be duds. So don't get discouraged if you
read below that your husband doesn't suit you, especially if he's suited your
for twenty years before you read this article!
RISING SIGNS AND MOON SIGNS:
Some readers have asked if you can also apply these
relationship descriptions to your rising sign - that is, can you count the signs
using your rising sign as # 1, just as I've had you use your Sun-sign as # 1.
Yes, you can, if you know your own rising sign and another's. But generally your
Sun sign relationships will be stronger than your rising sign relationships -
the latter are more circumstantial. You can also use your Moon sign and another
person's Moon sign, again if you know them. (An astrologer will be able to
calculate anyone's rising and Moon positions for you - though the rising sign
requires a pretty exact time of birth.) You can, to some degree, also use this
guide to compare "apples and oranges" - for example, your rising sign and
another's Sun sign. Say your rising sign was Gemini, and another person's Sun
sign was Libra - then, by counting your rising sign as # 1, count around the
horoscope column until you get to Libra - your # 5. So read the # 5 sign
COMPARING NAMES - A GOOD ADDITIONAL
This is just a brief addition. You can also get a
general idea of the compatibility between yourself and another from your first
names. Readers of my column will know that I've written several articles on this
phenomenon. However, for this relationship guide, here's the simplest guide:
If your first name starts with A, C, E, F, J, L, P, Q,
U, V, W, or X, you'll tend to harmonize with people whose first names start with
any of the same letters. (This is the "A" group.)
If your first name starts with B, G, H, I, K, M, N, O,
S, T, Y or Z, you'll harmonize with people born with the same first letters.
(This is the "B" group.)
People "A" group will have friction or unease in the
long run with people from "B" group. However, either group can act beneficially
as parents, children, or in practical roles toward the other group.
For example, in romantic situations, Paul will harmonize
with Ursula, but not with Ophelia. But Ophelia would make a good, natural boss
or mother for Paul. Some of these letter combinations are powerful (for good or
ill) while some are deeply affecting, some weak, some profitable, etc. But
that's too much information for this article.
First names starting with D or R harmonize with almost
any other first name, but also are "to taste" - in other words, you'll just have
to experiment with such people - some like them, some don't!
THE SUN SIGN COMPATIBILITY GUIDE
YOUR # 1 SIGN:
Remember, label your own sign # 1, the next # 2, and so
on until you reach # 12. For example, for Aries, Aries is # 1, Taurus is # 2,
and Pisces is # 12. But for Taurus, Taurus is # 1, Gemini is #2, and Aries is #
Relationships with another # 1 sign (i.e., between you
and another member of your own Sun sign) can work quite well. Bob Hope, 100
years in 2003 (note: Bob passed away shortly after I wrote this article) was
still married to his first wife - for - what? Sixty years? Seventy? They were
both Geminis - commonly regarded as the least faithful of signs. That shows you
how wrong popular conceptions can be. (I've generally observed Gemini women to
be quite easily and cheerfully faithful and loyal. But when female clients
complain of disappointment in love, they complain loudest and longest when their
ex - or their almost lover - was a Gemini man. That could simply mean that we
hate to lose Geminis more than any other lover - or it could arise from Gemini's
ability to make the opposite sex believe Gemini's deeply smitten, when they're
merely window-shopping. Gemini can window shop for years.)
Relations with your sign # 1 (another person of your own
Sun sign) have a certain advantage. You're both similar, so you understand each
other's inner workings. You slip easily and comfortably into the same lifestyle.
You tend to have the same goals, to respect the same virtues, etc. If you have
some strong love-contacts between your birth charts (Moons trine, Venus with
Mars, etc.) this can be a stable, calm, long-lasting union. Last week, I used
Bob Hope as an example. He and his wife, both Geminis, are probably the
longest-married couple in Hollywood. However, barring strong love - and empathy
- aspects between two people, same-sign relationships can grow a little boring.
Even with good love contacts (Venus-Mars, etc.) it helps if one member is a
workaholic (or both are). Two # 1s can evolve into a marriage of convenience.
Lack of empathy can turn a #1-#1 relationship bitter.
You might feel suffocated by your similarity, and, eventually resent the other
person. Neutrality and sameness turn into competitiveness. This competitiveness
easily rises to the surface in a business relationship, so a #1-#1 business
partnership is not usually a good idea. In love, make sure you really share a
spark and a solid tenderness before you make this one permanent.
YOUR # 2 SIGN
Relations between you and your # 2 sign are friendly,
polite, easy-going, natural, and sensual. This is often the easiest person to
"bed" - you merely have to ask, to show some desire, and the answer is a simple,
Okay, why not? There is very little embarrassment between you and # 2.
Unfortunately, this lack of embarrassment hints at too much ease...and
eventually you might begin to take your # 2 for granted. Unless you and # 2
share some other chemistry (Venus-Mars together or Moons trine Sun, etc.)
boredom can set in. Often, you can sense the looming boredom even at first or
second meeting, as a simple lack of "crazy passion." Often, after years of
wrestling with the notion, a person who marries # 2 might decide they have to
move on. But if Venus/Mars add their chemistry, or the Moon works its
birth-chart magic, any couple can be deeply happy.
In business, your # 2 can be a profitable connection,
even a good partner. This is your money sign, and # 2 will often get you your
first job, or buy your used furniture, etc. # 2s make lucrative, loyal clients,
But in the long run, you must "repay" # 2. If you "over use" # 2, at a certain
point you'll find # 2 is taking your money!
I forgot to mention one thing about your # 1 and # 2
signs (your own Sun sign and the sign immediately after yours). The chances for
either of these "combinations" to succeed escalates immensely if the other
person was born in YOUR OWN YEAR OF BIRTH AND 23 to 25, 27-29, or 32 to 34 days
after you (or in the same year and 23 to 25, 27-29, or 32-34 days before you, as
we'll see in your # 12 relationships).
These "days apart at birth" links can be extended almost
infinitely to other parts of the year and to other years. But the links are too
complex to pursue in this column.
YOUR # 3 SIGN
Remember, label your own Sun sign # 1 in any newspaper
horoscope column, then the next sign # 2, and so on until you've labeled all 12
signs. For example, Cancer's # 2 is Leo, and Cancer's # 12 is Gemini.
You talk easily with your # 3 sign. They often are more
than willing, even eager, to befriend you - and to accept your romantic
attention. However, this is an area of flirtation, not of deep, intense, "change
my soul" love. For you, it might well be even less - often, you seek nothing
more from # 3 than a chat over coffee, or a friendly "Hi," as you pass in the
hall, or a long, newsy phone call once a week. The main trouble with # 3 is that
he or she is might be too receptive. What you think is a friendly flirt, he/she
might view as an invitation. (Which, you have to admit, it was.) If you aren't
in the market for a serious love affair, don't toy with # 3 - you won't hurt him
or her deeply, but it's a hurt nonetheless. But if you do want a short, casual,
light affair, # 3 is a good choice. He/she won't bind you with possessive
chains, nor embarrass you with gobs of over-emoting. To # 3, you're an
entertaining friend who makes a good-looking, easy, happy, light lover. # 3
doesn't want any more from you than that - unless it's marriage, for this sign
will often be willing to marry you. # 1-3 couplings often prove very durable -
and happily so - if they share other important love contacts, such as Moons in
trine, or Venus from one birth chart joining the other's Mars. If so, they can
easily "outlast" other, more potent love combos, because the casual lightness
lets them smooth out problems and conflicts.
In business and practical affairs, a 1-3 combination
talks a blue streak, is always "in touch," and can make a formidable pair in
such areas as communications, writing, and paperwork. For example, a newspaper
team in which one researches and the other writes, or in which one is the
philosopher or scientist, and the other popularizes the discoveries.
In most business situations, though, # 1 - # 3 combos
find it hard to settle down to actual work, to commit to a solid course of
action, or to place the funds. This combo would rather talk (or write) than
knuckle down and grind out the product.
YOUR # 4 SIGN:
Your # 4 sign represents both your own security and
those you want to nurture and protect. It rules survival, food and shelter. In
love and mating, you can find # 4 strangely haunting and compelling, for here
you are meeting the raw power of life, the hugeness and mystery of nature,
without all the social overlays and subtleties. Here the maternal instinct
flowers, as do all parenting urges. Mixing these powerful urges with romantic or
spousal love can provide a potent emotional brew. In addition, your # 4 sign
will usually support you, provide a good home, and make you feel secure.
However, these relationships tend toward friction and tension in love. We
subconsciously dominate our # 4, probably because this area is so tied in with
our past childhood, our survival and our subconscious. It's an area of intimate
vulnerability, so we try to control this partner. But this eventually instils
rebellion in # 4. However, a # 1- # 4 link can last a long time, and if you do
reach a mature, accommodating, loving stance with your # 4, it will have come
from the kind of deep struggles that create a solid mutual respect and
# 1 - # 4 is the natural parent-child relationship. In
business, you will tend to be the boss in a #1 - # 4 relationship. Pick a # 4 as
your realtor, grocer, nanny or for home-related trades people.
YOUR # 5 SIGN
To find your # 5 sign, count your own sign as # 1 in any
horoscope column, then label the next sign # 2, and so on. For example, Aries' #
5 sign is Leo, Taurus' # 5 is Virgo, and so on.
# 5 is your romance sign. This is the sign you're most
likely to put on a pedestal, to adore. A mystery and awe, a deep, innocent
feeling will overcome you when you fall under # 5's spell. This is your sign of
beauty and pleasure, and often the love you feel toward your # 5 is returned,
because you're your # 5's # 9, another strong love sign.
The massive potency of a # 1 - # 5 relationship will not
happen every time these two signs meet - if you meet twelve new people per week
(including the gas station attendant, bus driver, etc., etc.) then you will
typically meet over 50 representatives of your # 5 sign every year - 500 in a
decade. For the average person, even one major love per decade is a "feat." So
nature itself prevents us from being vulnerable to every # 5 acquaintanceship.
But when you're ready to fall, # 5 is more likely than any other sign to paint
your life with love's sweet, luminous sting. A beauty emanates from him or her;
it surrounds you and paints your world with magic's trance; the most
impoverished room, the dingiest factory corner, is bathed in deep splendour.
This is the sign you're most likely to put on a
pedestal. At first, at least, it is very hard to see # 5's flaws. (Which might
make you resent them more deeply when they do show.) The kind of passions # 5
triggers often wear out or grow suffocating after a year or two - it's just too
much for the human organism to sustain. A #1 - # 5 relationship, to endure,
needs some refreshing excitement, some outside socializing, lightness and air.
With these, a # 1-# 5 can last forever. You will never forget a # 5
relationship, whether it was reciprocated or not, for it opened your eyes to an
unexpected, overwhelming beauty.
YOUR # 6 SIGN
To find your # 6 sign, take any horoscope column, label
your own sign # 1, then count down the signs until you reach # 6. Aries' # 6,
for example, is Virgo. Taurus' # 6 is Libra.
Your # 6 sign rules work, health, machinery and
services. (Many astrologers say dependents and pets are ruled by # 6, but I
don't think that's true. I'd better explain: Your # 6 sign does rule dependents
if they serve you: for example, employees, farm animals, guard or herding dogs,
etc. But pets and beloved children are ruled by your # 4 and # 5 sign.) People
born in your # 6 sign make natural employees, co-workers and service people for
you. If you're going to repair your house, or need someone to work with you on a
mechanical or routine project, look for # 6. Often, # 6 is willing to do you
favors, and is eager to invest with you.
In social situations, # 6 can feel a compelling sexual
pull toward you, because you're his/her # 8 (sex) sign. This makes it easy to
fall into a relationship with your # 6, especially if you are feeling a lack of
self-confidence, and prefer to have someone "choose you." The sex is often quite
good for both partners, because it is both exciting and gratifying when someone
is sexually smitten by you.
In addition, you might also light up your # 6's marriage
house. (This occurs because signs and houses are not the same thing. For
example, for someone born in the middle of the sign Virgo, the marriage house
extends from the middle of Pisces to the middle of Aries. But the entire sign
Aries is Virgo's sex sign. So anyone born in the first half of Aries will be in
both this Virgo's sex sign and marriage house.)
So # 1 - # 6 relationships quite often lead to marriage.
However, some subtle but deep turns occur when the # 1- # 6 relationship veers
into lover's lane. For one thing, you feel a natural urge to put your # 6 to
work, to "utilize" him or her. Eventually, # 6 can get tired of running your
errands or washing your floors. More importantly, you are # 6's # 8 sign, which
means your # 6 finds you a mystery, and has trouble defining and wholly trusting
you. Your # 6 will never feel wholly "in the groove" of your marriage. This
psychic and emotional uncertainty can create health problems that seem to have
no cause, and therefore little cure. If this occurs, the cure lies in
separation. Sometimes an extramarital urge lurks in # 6-#8 pairing. This couple
needs to enjoy a long engagement.
On the plus side, # 6- # 8 couples (he/she's your # 6,
you're his/her # 8) often accumulate money or expand their net worth over time.
Often, they can run a business together, and are naturally co-operative
work-mates. You and your #6 will often form a great business partnership - one
that seems to arise naturally, without formal intent. However, if the
relationship breaks apart, a fight over assets is more likely than not.
YOUR # 7 SIGN
# 7 is your love and war sign. To find # 7, count your
own sign as # 1 in the Sun-sign messages below. Then count down the signs until
you hit # 7. E.g., Aries' # 7 is Libra, and Libra's # 7 is Aries. You will
always be # 7 to your # 7.
# 7 is your sign of equals, partners and "obvious
enemies." It's your "same but opposite" sign. In some ways, # 7 is your mirror,
and you are # 7's mirror. This engenders competition, and what I call "flash
anger" - sudden, almost inexplicable or unreasonable flashes of unplanned anger.
(Especially between Air and Fire signs - Air signs are Gemini, Libra and
Aquarius, Fire are Leo, Sagittarius and Aries.) I think this anger arises partly
because you are your # 7 are so similar, yet so unexpectedly different, that you
are constantly lulled into thinking you're similar, then surprised that you're
not, and so you stay in a constant state of "yes-no-yes-no." This alternating
identification-alienation, or frustration-attraction, provides an unending
source of liveliness. So this same source of anger is a source of constant spark
For example, if you're an Aquarian, your # 7 is Leo.
You're both very stubborn
(and often these two signs even look the same - long,
bushy "manes," large faces, sturdy bodies) but Leo loves romance and pleasure,
while the Aquarian heart flows toward friends and entertainment. Geminis and
Sagittarians (# 7 to each other) are both indecisive, intellectual, and love
travel; but Sag loves long trips, and philosophical ideas, while Gemini likes
short trips - and poking fun at ideas. Cancer nurtures unconditionally, while
her # 7, Capricorn, steers or disciplines - yet both are deeply concerned with
parenting. But it's challenging. Your # 7 has the same amount of will power as
you, and the same energy. And what you find most frustrating in your # 7 might
be just what you find frustrating in yourself.
You tend to compete with your # 7, yet admire him/her.
So love and argument often mix. This pairing demands a lot of maturity, respect
and grace from both partners. But the # 1-# 7 pairing never "wears out." The
spark of attraction lives on and on. Your # 7 sign freshens your life and brings
new opportunities, fresh ways of seeing the world. # 7 challenges your outworn
ideas, spurs you to seek new horizons, perhaps even to relocate. This is your
perfect marriage partner, IF you can bear the dynamism!
YOUR # 8 SIGN
Remember, to find your # 8, label your own sign # 1 in
any newspaper horoscope column, then count down the page until your finger hits
# 8.) For another angle on your # 8, refer back to my discussion about # 6.
(Because you are # 6 to your # 8 - so you will see how he or she sees you.)
Your # 8 is the source of most of the mysteries in your
life. You're sexually attracted to your # 8. (If you were born with planets in
your # 8 sign, you might be unusually susceptible to extramarital affairs.) This
sign gives birth to new things in your life, and it is where old things exit. In
many ways, your # 8 sign is a well-spring or source of life. It is also where
old or stale things in your life are broken apart or and extinguished. For
example, # 8 could lure you away from your present relationship -- probably
through the lure of sexual lust, for # 8 is very good at luring you) - and
hence, your present relationship "dies" - and a new one - with your # 8 -
begins. But don't count on a # 8 relationship lasting forever. This sign is in
your life as a catalyst - it is there to make things change rather than to make
# 8 is the doorway where deeper forces enter your life -
critical health situations, secrets, sexual intimacy, large debts and
investments, documents, occultism. It where power lives. When you get involved
with your # 8 sign, these deeper forces come to the surface. You can invest
successfully with your # 8, and this sign makes a fine business partner IF
everyone's honest. In emotional relationships, you can become obsessed with lust
for your # 8 - but seldom will you love this person. Your # 8 tends to control
or manipulate you. You're his/her # 6 - his or her sign of servants. If you're
ever in a lawsuit, hire a lawyer who's # 8 to your opponent's lawyer, or whose
name is # 8 to your opponent's lawyer's name. E.g., if your opponent's lawyer is
a Libra, pick a Taurus for your own lawyer. # 8 often defeats # 1, or forces him
Unless you were born at the exact beginning of your
sign, part of your # 8 sign will occupy the "end part" of your solar marriage
house. For example, if you were born on the 5th of the month, your marriage
HOUSE (not sign) actually starts in the middle of your marriage sign and extends
into the middle of your # 8 sign.
My advice is, for long-term happiness, marry someone
born purely in your marriage sign. But if you want to grow assets, you might
marry someone born in your # 8 sign, but whose birthday is "under" the day of
the month that you were born in. For instance, in the above example, if you're
born on the 5th of the month, marry someone from your 8th house if you want, but
make sure they're born before the 5th of their month.
(A longer explanation of this "overlap" phenomena
appears at the end of this article, as an "Additional Note.")
YOUR # 9 SIGN
Your # 9 sign is one of the most pleasant experiences
you'll ever meet. To find your # 9, count your own Sun-sign as # 1 in any
horoscope column, then count "down the signs" until you hit # 9. E.g., Libra's #
9 is Gemini. Your # 9 sign is more likely to fall in love with you than any one
else. (See my ramblings on # 5 to see how your # 9 feels toward you - you're #
9's # 5.)
# 9 will first approach you on a mental, conversational
or "easy charm" level. Even if you're meeting a # 9 who's going to become the
love of your life, it's likely that at first you won't feel a strong attraction.
You only feel comfortable, charmed, bemused - yet somehow, you don't leave, and
the hours fly by. Slowly, and often with gentle humor, this sign takes your
mind, and leads it into the forests of love. (Your body willingly tags along,
A relationship with # 9 will expand your horizons,
broaden your understanding, and often lead you into far travel or higher
education. You "grow up" after an affair with # 9. But a #1-# 9 relationship has
the same potential weakness as a #1-#5: the love can flare too intensely to burn
for decades. It surrounds you, it throws your life into a conflagration, it
burns all its fuel away. Then lassitude comes. If this combination is to succeed
as a marriage, the two of you need some "friction providers" - some planetary
obstacles to keep you from enveloping (and eventually suffocating) each other.
"Intensity providers" (planetary aspects that promote roman tic/sexual
intensity) are unfortunately not always a solution, as these might 1) burn the
flame out sooner, or 2) send this love past the bounds of realism, even of
reality, leaving both lovers "lost in space."
A # 9 child, parent or friend is a true joy, as
understanding, compassion and similar interests accompany a natural, clean
feeling of love. Pick your # 9 if you're seeking a lawyer, teacher, religious,
moral or philosophical guide. But don't be too quick to form a business
partnership or have financial dealings with # 9. This sign seldom brings you any
financial increase, simply because it has "other goals."
YOUR # 10 SIGN
Your #10 sign wants to take care of you, but for a
price. The price is, you do what #10 says. (To find your # 10 sign, label your
own Sun-sign # 1 in the horoscope column below, then count down the signs until
your finger hits # 10. For example, Aries'# 10 is Capricorn. Capricorn's # 10 is
# 10 represents your boss, your parent (usually the
father) judges and other authorities, and all those childhood instructions that
you've internalized. (This isn't the same as your conscience, which is always
good. These childhood instructions can be good or bad, depending on who imposed
them on you, and how.) # 10 also represents your ambitions and desires for
status. This sign governs your sense of propriety, of superficial right and
wrong, and how you relate to society's power structures. Ultimately, it
determines your place.
A #1- #10 relationship can be passionate and intense,
but it doesn't leave a lot of room for romantic playfulness. Often, your
attraction is filled with friction and power struggles, so your love might
resemble a competitive wrestling match. The pecking order must be established.
You might become obsessed with making this person respect you. This is a natural
child-parent or boss-employee relationship: one nurtures and one obeys.
This combination (# 1-#10) can work as a marriage,
especially if respect outweighs criticism, and if both partners highly value
security and ambition. (Bill and Hillary Clinton had this relationship.) In
essence, you'll be mothering/nurturing your # 10, and he/she will be
fathering/directing you. (You're your # 10's # 4, so read that relationship,
too.) Some door-slamming can occur, but so can deep loyalty, acceptance and
respect, along with strong practical accomplishment...
YOUR # 11 SIGN
Your # 11 sign brings you happiness, laughter, social
delights - and introduces you to his/her friends without a moment's pause or
doubt. Chase # 11 if you want romance without the embarrassment, short breath
and cliff-hanging ego risks of mad infatuation. You'll be accepted easily by
your # 11. You'll (likely) have good sex, with a happy, easy intimacy. You'll
admire # 11, and the two of you will share a light, humorous, affectionate
understanding. Because this relationship is founded on friendliness and good
feeling, you'll be gently surprised by # 11's regenerative beauty - again and
again, you'll realize that his or her original "good looks" haven't faded for
You can enjoy this love affair with no strings attached.
# 11 asks very little of you. He/she assumes your loyalty, or at least seldom
demands it. # 11 doesn't mind if you want to go out with your friends, or catch
a plane to Alaska to watch the sled races. The catch is, you won't be unendingly
important to # 11 - in fact, you might be treated a little too casually for your
liking, once the blush of first attraction has worn off. You're # 11's # 3 - his
or her sign of conversation and short trips, reading, curiosity, newspapers and
information. Yet this is a great match for people who like books, newspapers,
coffee shops, etc. Many people - and signs - actually prefer a # 3 or # 11
relationship over the huge, consequential and perhaps frightening or suffocating
power of a # 5 or # 7. The #3- #11 combo is neutral in a good way: it lets other
parts of your two personalities (birth charts) shine through. It lets both of
you breathe and be yourselves. Perhaps because freedom and affection are so easy
with # 11, marriage with one is often long-lasting.
YOUR # 12 SIGN
Okay, let's do the final sign relationship - you and
your # 12 sign. First, I should say (and have not said it enough in the past)
that these sign # descriptions are only the most general guidelines. Though the
characteristics I mention for each relationship combination will definitely
exist, so will many other factors that depend on your individual birth charts.
For example, a relationship with your # 10 sign will surely entail the elements
of ambition and ego competition which I mentioned, but you and a particular
person from this sign could also have moons in trine between your charts, and
Venus conjunct Mars, and other aspects - ultimately, a # 1-# 10 relationship
could be cozy, sexy, tender, and deeply fulfilling to both parties, DESPITE its
competitive nature. The same goes for any combination. The #'s are guidelines
only - though, all being equal, the #'s are a good guide to basic compatibility
To find your # 12 sign, simply find the sign before you
in the Sun-sign messages below. E.g., Gemini's # 12 is Taurus; Taurus' # 12 is
Aries; Aries' # 12 is Pisces.
# 12, as a sign, holds your spiritual potential.
(Spiritual, as in "energy," not religious, as in codes or rules.) It rules your
involvements with government agencies, red tape and beurocracy, charities and
welfare, old friends and long-established relatives, shut-ins, institutions
(hospitals, jails, etc.) the workings of large banks, the payouts that insurance
companies make, "head office" or administrative areas of companies or schools,
warehouses and other big, cavernous spaces, caches, secrets, meditation,
contemplation, seclusion, spiritual channelling...you get the picture.
Your # 12 sign will support you and/or ask for support
from you. This is where you give if you're strong (rich), and get if you're weak
(poor). We often fear our # 12, because we fear being helpless. A # 12
relationship usually "happens" when we're going through a healing period in our
lives, or because we want seclusion and rest. A bond with your # 12 can be
uniquely spiritual and peaceful. Sex is easy, but the passion tends to be weak
or to fade over time. Relations between # 1 (you) and # 12 are uniquely
diplomatic, sympathetic and polite. However, real issues between you can fall
prey to inattention or avoidance. Eventually, this can cause repression,
suffocation, or boredom. You might sit in the café with nothing to say between
you. You easily support your # 12, and the spiritual uplift he/she gives you
might be worth any sacrifice - or not. For marriage, this bond (as with your # 2
sign) must have additional buttressing/passionate aspects if it is to remain
vital over the years.
A LONG ADDITIONAL NOTE: HOW SIGNS OVERLAP WITH EACH
You only need to read this section if you wish to know
the "shadings" of meanings, or to carry this compatibility article to another
level of complexity. But you might be just as well off without it!
There are two ways of "dividing" the zodiac into twelve
sections in astrology. One, which we've used extensively in this relationship
article, is by signs. These are easy to see - the birthdays of your sign (and
anyone's) are listed in any newspaper horoscope.
The other way of dividing the zodiac is by houses. There
are 12 houses, just as there are 12 signs. Basically, houses carry the same
meanings as signs (at least for our purposes in compatibility) but they extend
over a slightly different area of your own, personal Sun chart.
Here's how: if you are a Gemini, say, your # 5 sign (of
love) is Libra, and this # 5 sign will always (roughly) encompass anyone born
between September 22 and October 21. (I say roughly, because signs can start
plus or minus one day, depending on what year one is born.) But if you are a
Gemini born in the middle of your sign, say June 6, then your # 5 love HOUSE
will extend from the middle of Libra, say from about October 6, to the middle of
the next sign, Scorpio - to encompass all birthdays born after Libra, up until
November 6. As we know, Scorpio is Gemini's # 6, or work sign, so anyone born in
Scorpio, but before Nov. 6, will still be in this Gemini's love house, while in
his work sign. The result? An overlapping, that gives a main accent on work
(Scorpio = # 6 sign for Gemini = co-workers, service, work, etc.) but a
secondary accent on love and romance.
A WHOLE EXAMPLE:
For a Taurus born on May 16, the whole sign Gemini will
be his # 2 sign, the entire sign Cancer his # 3 sign, all of Leo his # 4 sign,
But for this same Taurus, his # 2 house (which has the
same meaning as his # 2 sign) extends from June 16 to July 15 (even though the
birth dates of his # 2 sign, Gemini, extend from May 22 to June 20). His # 3
house goes from July 16 to August 15, his # 4 house from August 16 to Sept. 15,
and so on. We can skip a few signs/houses, to , say, the 7th. Here, Taurus # 7
sign is the entire sign of Scorpio, which extends from October 22 to November
21. But this Taurus' # 7 house doesn't start until November 16 (because that's
the day of the month corresponding to his own) but doesn't end until January 15
- far into the next whole sign (#8).
As you can see, this Taurean's houses start much later
(in birth dates of the people he's dealing with) than his signs - the reason is,
he was born late, or in the latter part, of his own sign, Taurus. (All houses
and signs, in this system, are 30 days long, roughly.) This means his houses
will also finish than his signs.
So we get two overlaps. One, part of his # 2 sign is in
his # 1 house, part of his # 2 sign and # 2 house coincide, and part of his # 2
house is in his # 3 sign.
Below, I discuss this "overlap" further, with more
examples, but REMEMBER, YOUR SIGN # RELATIONSHIP READING IS STRONGER OR MORE
IMPORTANT THAN YOUR HOUSE # RELATIONSHIP MEANINGS - The latter are like a
tinting or flavoring of the former.
Your marriage SIGN is always the WHOLE SIGN that you
reach when you count down the horoscope column to sign # 7, using your own
Sun-sign as # 1. But your marriage HOUSE extends (roughly) from the day of the
month you were born, but in the birth month of your # 7's sign, to a point 30
days further in time - in other words, up to the same day of the month in your #
8's sign. (Just as in the Taurus example above.)
* For example, if you're Aries, your # 7 is Libra, and
your # 8 is Scorpio. The newspaper horoscope column should carry a little "date
line" beside Aries which says "21 March to 19 April." The label beside/above
your # 7 sign should say: "Libra - 22 Sept. to 21 Oct. And the label beside your
# 8 sign will read "Scorpio - 22 Oct. to 21 Nov" or some such. (The dates will
vary by a day depending on the year and newspaper column.)
* So, if you're an Aries born March 27, even though all
Libra is your (#7) marriage SIGN, your marriage HOUSE starts September 27, NOT
September 22 (when the SIGN Libra starts). So only about 25 days of your
marriage sign (instead of 30 - each sign represents about 30 days of the year)
carries a "pure marriage" influence. What happens to the 5 days we lopped off,
from 22 Sept. to 27 Sept? Well, those five days - or one-sixth - of your
marriage sign are still your marriage SIGN, and still worthy of marriage, but
they will partly carry the nature of the previous SIGN - in this case, of the #
6 sign, ruling work and dependents. So a marriage with someone born Sept. 22 to
Sept. 27, will be a co-operative, work-sharing marriage, much like a love
relationship with a co-worker, or between an employer and employee - If you were
born March 27. But what happens to the 5 days you lost of "pure marriage"
influence? Don't you get them back? Yes, you do, but in a different form. Let's
see: so far you have 5 days of "co-worker marriage" and 25 days of "pure
marriage." That brings you to the end of your marriage sign - the last day of
Libra. But because your marriage house began 5 days late (on your own day of the
month - the 27th instead of the start of Libra, the 22nd) so your marriage house
extends an additional 5 days at the end, into your 8th SIGN, of sex, mysteries
and finances. So the first 5 days of Scorpio (because in this example, Scorpio
is Aries' 8th sign) are also this Aries marriage house, even though they're of a
different sign. Notice that this Aries, born March 27, has all of Libra as a
marriage sign, but that his marriage house extends from his birth DAY of the
marriage sign's first month to the next SAME DAY of the following month.
* You can do this with any birthday. If you're born June
5, then your # 7 house extends from December 5 to January 4. (June 5 is Gemini,
so his # 7 sign is Sagittarius, which extends from November 22 to December 21.
These dates form Geminis' marriage sign. But this June 5 Gemini's marriage house
extends from December 5 - still in Sagittarius - to January 4 - right smack in
the middle of Capricorn, Gemini's 8th sign of sex, mystery, change and big
* Another example: a Cancer born July 1. Cancer extends
from June 22 to July 22, approximately. So all of Cancer's marriage sign is
Capricorn. But this particular Cancer's marriage house starts with Capricorns
born January 1, or about one-third of the way into Capricorn. Capricorns born
before January 1 represent "co-worker marriages" to this Cancer. Capricorns born
January 1 to January 19 (the last day of Capricorn as a sign) represent "pure
marriage" to Cancer, while AQUARIANS born January 20 to January 31 (one day
before February 1) represent "deep, mysterious, sexual, financial marriages" to
My advice, by the way, is to marry your # 6 house # 7
sign for a co-operative, work
sharing marriage, your # 7 house # 7 sign for happiness,
and your # 8 house # 7 sign
for a "growth of assets" marriage. (Though this # 8
house # 7 sign is a bit dicey, due
to the deep forces of sex, money, power and mystery that
This "overlap" phenomena applies to every house and
every sign, as long as you were not born on the first day of your own sign. It
becomes more and more marked, of course, the further "into" you own sign you
were born. A Gemini born May 21 will have virtually no overlap, while for a
Gemini born June 19 (i.e., at the very end of his sign), almost every sign will
overlap with a different house - e.g., almost all of this Gemini's # 2 sign will
overlap with his # 1 house, because his # 2 sign starts only 1 day after his
birthday. Similarly, his #10 sign will overlap with his # 9 house, etc. This
means that for this Gemini (and anyone born late in their sign) practical
matters (10th sign) mingle with love matters (9th house) - and if we put 10th
and 9th together, we have an indication that this Gemini will marry for ambition
- but also that he will find his career (10th) in intellectual matters (9th).
But such thoughts go far beyond the scope of this
In compatibility terms, your "overlaps" (house
overlapping sign) can reveal lots of insights into your relationships with any
sign, from # 1 (yourself!) through # 12.